Friday, October 17, 2008
Letterbox
OK, I'm just going to put this out there because I'm tired of worrying about it and I need some advice. : ) For the first 2 years of Mariel's existance we write letters/updates to the Birthparents and include pictures every 3 months. (Then I only have to do it once a year until she's 18). So, I've already written two letters, both extremely short (in my opinion), but informative. I'm at a crossroads because I can't decide if I should start including Mariel's name in the letters. The past two I haven't, I just referred to her as "baby girl, She, her". I purposely left her name out because she was given a name at birth by her Birthparents. Keep in mind they did not give up parental rights until 2 weeks after she was born. So, BIG QUESTION ... What name do I use in correspondances about her? I'm drawing a blank. I could probably continue the "vague" approach, however, it is extremely difficult to try to word things around "baby girl, she, her". I NEED YOUR OPINIONS/ADVICE! Thanks!
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5 comments:
I have a few friends in this same situation. So I will tell you what they have done. They all refer to the child by the name given by the birth parents. I personally would not want them to know her by the name that you have chosen. They have a name for 'her'. Let that be the name you use in your correspondence.
I second the comment before mine. I know someone else (my mother in law..hint hint)...that had that experience. The little boys referred to HIMSELF as well in the letters as the name that he was given by his birth mom. It wasnt until just a little bit ago (hes now almost 16) that he revelealed that his name was something different...So...I'd refer to her, with the name the birth parents gave. I think you will feel better too... =)
Ditto for me Patti - The birth parents gave her a name that may have meaning for them - You likewise gave her a name that has meaning for you. Let her bless both of your lives by letting her have an identity for both sets of parents. The Mom
Patti,
It was so good seeing you today! Your little girl is adorable! Do you mind if I add your link to my blog? Check mine out...
www.nickbrittbennett.blogspot.com
That is so fun that our little girls are SO close in age! Like, less than a week!
Talk with ya soon!
Brittany
OK, so I have not looked at blogs in a LONG time, so you may not even read this. But I am going to voice my opinion-cause I like to. I agree with my mom, use the name that the birth mother called her or....my neighbor always called the baby "Button" in her letters to the birth mom. I hope that it all works out and that you feel more at ease. I am so glad that I got to see Mariel in person (at Ashley's baby shower) she is so very cute. (And now I know how to pronounce her name too.)
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